Saturday, October 25, 2008

five ways to leave your lover - part 4 ... declaration of nullity of marriage

couples now utter the words annulment of marriage and psychological incapacity at the slightest sign of trouble in their married life. little do they know that they are actually referring to declaration of nullity rather than annulment of marriage.

these two processes work towards the same end, that is, the formalization of the marital divide, but in reality are entirely of different species.

a petition for annulment of marriage refers to the petition for the dissolution of a voidable marriage while a petition for the declaration of nullity of marriage prays for the court to formally declare that a void marriage is indeed void.

a voidable (or annullable) marriage is one that is considered valid and subsisting until it set aside by a competent court. a void marriage on the other hand, is deemed never to have taken place at all, that's why they use the term void ab initio or void from the beginning.

interestingly, while a void marriage may be considered not to have taken place at all, it can be used as a basis for the criminal prosecution for bigamy. why? because only the court has the power to declare a marriage void. the parties cannot be so presumptuous as to assume that their former marriage is a nullity and therefore they are free to marry again. otherwise, half of the male population of this country would have already self declared their marriage to be void.

in our jurisdiction the following marriages are void:

1. underage marriage - where any (or both) of the parties is (are) below 18 years of age at the time of the celebration of the marriage. in this instance, the marriage is void even if there is parental consent.

2. fake priest marriage - where the person who solemnized the marriage is not legally authorized to do so. examples are marriages solemnized by barangay captains, congressmen, senators, pseudo pastors of fake religions and lawyers. yes lawyers are not authorized to solemnize marriages, only judges, justices, priests and pastors are.

3. unlicensed marriage - where the parties did not secure a marriage license prior to the celebration of marriage unless the marriage was celebrated in articulo mortis (at the point or near death) or the parties have been living together as husband and wife for at least five years without any legal impediment to marry each other.

4. multiple marriage - bigamous, trigamous, quadrogamous, polygamous in other words a marriage contracted while one of the parties has a subsisting marriage (unless that party is a muslim, but that's another story)

5. wrong mistake marriage - where there is mistake as to the identity of the other party to the marriage. example is where the ugly sister deceptively took the place of the prettier one and the groom unknowingly gave his i do. and when the veil is lifted...

6. second gloria marriage - where a widow or widower contracted a marriage without distributing legitimes to the children, the second marriage would be void. so single men/women on the prowl for rich widow/widower, beware, his/her fortune is not your fortune.

7. p.i marriage - the p.i. here does not refer to the popular cusswords used to describe the sexual proclivity of the mother of one's enemy. this refers to a marriage where one or both parties are psychologically incapacitated to perform the essential marital obligations. this is the most popular ground being invoked nowadays but it also entails the most expenses. technically speaking, it is the hardest to prove because the incapacity should be grave, preexisting and incurable.

8. incestous (kapamilya) marriage - marriages between ascendants and descendants of any degree and between brothers and sisters, whether of the full or half blood. the scientific reasons for this is marriages between relatives usually result in inbreeding, with the resultant offsprings in some cases suffering from some kind of abnormalities. also it offends against common decency, propriety and societal mores.

9. kakahiya (kapuso) marriage. marriages between relatives up to fourth civil degree (first cousins beware), step parents and step children, parents in law and children in law, adopter and adopted, two adopted children of the same adopter, adopted child and legitimate child of the adopter, the hired gun and the widow or widower. incidentally, the law does not prohibit a marriage between an adopted child and the illegitimate child of the adopter.

yes virginia, there are grounds for the declaration of nullity of marriage other than psychological incapacity of one or both of the parties. so don't jump the gun and invoke p.i. like a mantra. make a self assessment first. you might just find an applicable ground which is easier to prove and less costly to boot.

next. last installment. annulment of marriage

Thursday, October 9, 2008

melancholia

i have always been fascinated by songs with tragic themes: the unrequited love, the heart rending break up, the forbidden affair, the guy pining for her lost love, the suppressed and unexpressed feelings, the selfless love that requires the utmost sacrifice of letting go. this kind of song makes me close my eyes and sing every syllable with heartfelt conviction. the latest song that caught my fancy is “goodbye my almost lover”. sung by a fine frenzy, the voice of the girl is so hauntingly melancholic that you could feel the raging grief and conflict inside her as she say adieu to her hopeless dream, the proverbial one that got away. her voice is so choked up with emotions it conjures images of tears welling up in her eyes ready to slowly cascade into her rosy cheeks.

here are the lyrics.

goodbye my almost lover

by: a fine frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, ever forget
These images

Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

just click on the imeem player on the right and be engulfed with emotions


five ways to leave your lover part 3 - legal separation



apart but still together

psst!! want to break free from your husband and get your sweet revenge at the same time. then read on....

in the olden days, prior to the famous article 36 of the family code, couples trapped in loveless marriages know the law on legal separation by heart. to them, this is the light, nay the only flicker, at the end of the long, dark, and narrow tunnel. it doesn't matter if this provision only gives them a hybrid of a freedom, a half liberation, a semi redemption. better than nothing they surmised. better to be leashed than be shackled.

in theory, legal separation is easier to prove than declaration of nullity. the grounds provided are those which occur after all of the wedding gifts have already been opened, when the euphoria of honeymoon is already over and when the couples have already realized that cute and funny, when seen on a daily basis, is sometimes corny and irritating.

this particular provision of the family code provides for the exception to the "no return, no exchange" policy in marriage. meaning, even in marriage, the law is aware that there is such a thing as "buyer's remorse."

why buyer's remorse?

because this law presumes the validity of the transaction (marriage) yet allows the parties to disregard it on various legal grounds.

because this law recognizes the possibility that an otherwise perfectly valid marriage in theory could sometimes be totally imperfect in practice and the parties should be allowed to live separately for their mutual benefit.

the grounds provided by the law are:

Art. 55. A petition for legal separation may be filed on any of the following grounds:

(1) Repeated physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner;
(2) Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner to change religious or political affiliation;
(3) Attempt of respondent to corrupt or induce the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner, to engage in prostitution, or connivance in such corruption or inducement;
(4) Final judgment sentencing the respondent to imprisonment of more than six years, even if pardoned;
(5) Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism of the respondent;
(6) Lesbianism or homosexuality of the respondent;
(7) Contracting by the respondent of a subsequent bigamous marriage, whether in the Philippines or abroad;
(8) Sexual infidelity or perversion;
(9) Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner; or
(10) Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one year.

the law on legal separation provides for various grounds applicable to diverse situations.

the battered woman can invoke ground no. 1, and stop the daily punching and cursing sessions inflicted to her by her loving husband.

a woman imprisoned in a denomination totally averse to her religious conviction can finally break free from the spiritual tyranny she has to endure.

the wife can sever her marital bonds from the husband who is languishing in jail for having raped his own daughter,

a man could not be forced to remain married to a woman who has the same sexual preference as him. imagine the feeling of inadequacy that this man has to endure daily.

a wife could not be made to suffer the indignity of her husband's demand for "menage-a-trois"

the suffering of the abandoned spouse who has no clue on her husband's whereabouts can be put to an end thru this law.

if granted, the petition for legal separation shall have the following effects:

(1) The spouses shall be entitled to live separately from each other, but the marriage bonds shall not be severed;
(2) The absolute community or the conjugal partnership shall be dissolved and liquidated but the offending spouse shall have no right to any share of the net profits earned by the absolute community or the conjugal partnership, which shall be forfeited in accordance with the provisions of Article 43(2);
(3) The custody of the minor children shall be awarded to the innocent spouse, subject to the provisions of Article 213 of this Code; and
(4) The offending spouse shall be disqualified from inheriting from the innocent spouse by intestate succession. Moreover, provisions in favor of the offending spouse made in the will of the innocent spouse shall be revoked by operation of law. (106a)

but why file a petition for legal separation and not a declaration for nullity of marriage?

this route is taken by those who do not want anything to do with their exes but still want to have a modicum of control to the lives of the other half just to have their sweet revenge.

why sweet revenge?

because couples who are legally separated can not legally enter into a new marriage. in legal separation, the marriage bond is not severed. consequently the offended ex wife or the ex husband would be happy with the thought that no matter what, the new flavor of the month would always be a querida or a boy toy. then they could always mouth these famous words

"you're nothing but a second rate trying hard copycat"